"I Do"

In a few days time – on Sunday to be specific, one of my closest friends is getting married. To say that I am ecstatic for her would be an understatement BUT I’d be lying if I said a small, selfish part of me wasn’t a little sad. Before you condemn me for being a bad or jealous resentful friend, it isn’t that at all – okay, well…maybe a little bit. My real issue is the fact that I don’t know what her impending nuptials will mean for our close to 10 year friendship as soon as her prefix evolves from Miss to Mrs and she gains a totally new surname altogether.

I’d been keeping these thoughts in my head for quite some time and only told her the other day. The bride-to-be, being the wonderful person that she is, reassured me that becoming a wife wouldn’t change anything and quite frankly, I applaud her conviction in what she was saying. However she isn’t the problem. I am. When women get married they (understandably) tend to do ‘couply’ things with other smug ‘marrieds’ and those in long-term relationships and as I fall in neither of those categories, I’ve been considering if we’ll still be able to relate?

I won’t have the same comments or complaints about a husband (or boyfriend) who knows me almost as well as I know myself, nor will I be able to talk of future plans with me and . Her excitement is infectious and I’m happy that she is finally marrying the man that she loves, nevertheless her wedding, and the weddings and engagements of those around me that have either recently passed or are fast approaching, are an unwelcomed reminder that I have reached the age where my age-mates are going to start dropping like flies and I will evade aunties and uncles at parties in order to avoid that awkward moment when they ask “so, when are you getting married?”

I hate feeling like I’m supposed to be married off in the next 12 months and then begin breeding almost instantly or forever risk being left on the shelf. I’m not saying a whirlwind romance couldn’t happen, but it is highly unlikely at the present time and I’m actually enjoying living life, building a career and meeting new people, but I digress.

After careful consideration of my friendship dilemma, I came to the conclusion that stressing about a situation that may not even escalate to the extreme that I’d imaged was futile. I am thankful that my friend is blessed enough to have found someone that she wants to spend the rest of her life with and I look forward to hanging out with her and her husband – whether on my own or with a significant other should I finally meet someone I like enough who likes me back.

And I know that three is a crowd, but luckily her husband is aware that I come as part of the package so really my friend and I should be fine! I know their wedding is going to be amazing, and I really like my bridesmaid dress so I’m looking forward to it.

As indulgent as this post may seem, there is a wider point that I’m trying to get across here. Worrying over something that hasn’t and may never happen is useless and serves no purpose. I am by no means advocating throwing complete caution to the wind and foregoing all planning. That would just be stupid and irresponsible of me – fail to plan and you could plan to fail etc etc.

I am currently of the mindset that tormenting yourself over something that you have little or no control over will ultimately do you damage. And things you do have control over (e.g. the way you conduct yourself in your friendships, relationships, job or whatever it may be), do so to the best of your ability. At least that way you’re less likely to experience regret and know that you tried your best should it fail.